Yeah...
Back before I took a break from forums, I was fighting some pretty dark struggles.
I never took care of my teeth when I was a kid. No one ever made me. So, they rotted and got bad. As an adult, I would get severe tooth pain. I'd get flu-like sickness from it, huge swollen areas that would painfully last for months, infections. I didn't eat on one side of my mouth for 10 years.
Dental work is super expensive. So, I never got it taken care of.
I drank instead. I drank to make the pain go away. Because of that, I got drunk a lot and getting drunk can make you act and say things that are mean and upsetting. I wasn't good at keeping the right friends because of my drunkenness. But it was the only thing that temporary took the pain away.
If I were to rate the pain 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst, I'd choose 13.
At one point I almost ended it. That's all I will say about that. I'm just thankful things didn't turn out how they could had.
My teeth also made me want to be alone for the rest of my life. In all honestly, I never thought I'd find anyone.
Back then, I was trying to bike to be healthy but didn't quit unhealthy things. I still smoked, drank like a fish, and ate badly.
Then I went for a hike.
I fell in love with hiking.
I started taking photos and sharing them and people started flocking to them on social.
Someone told me to do youtube of my hikes. I tried it but just didn't show me in it. That took off.
So, I wanted to get in better health. I quit getting drunk. I started vaping instead of smoking. I ate a little better. But the toothache pain was still there.
So, I broke down and had all my top teeth pulled out. I have an upper denture now. I paid about $8,000 out of pocket. It wasn't cheap at all. It was a rough process. It hurt when they pulled my teeth. I was awake through it and the numbing solution did not work but once they were out, the pain immediately left. I remember tears running my face because I didn't feel that pain anymore...
It took me a few years to get used to a denture. I don't even notice it now. It looks real, too. I've saved my bottom teeth and I take very good care of them. A bottom denture is harder to get used to because most of the time, they just "float".
My youtube led me to become some kind of local celebrity.
I met my gf that way. She was a fan. I wasn't looking for anyone TBH, I thought I would be alone for life and I accepted that. But it was love at first site. Meeting her and us forming our relationship filled a void in my life that was larger than anything else.
I don't feel any kind of depression anymore.
I quit getting drunk. I drink a few IPAs here and there but I don't get drunk. My GFs daughter (who I treat as my own kid) told me to quit vaping. I quit the next day cold turkey, that's been a few years now.
I got COVID early. The bad round, before we knew what it was. It was just like a bad cold for me. Nothing damaging. No hospital visit. I think if I was still like I was and with all the teeth problems, I'm sure it would had killed me. But I don't think I would have been alive to see it. Pain can really make you do horrible things to yourself.
That's my depression story. I like to tell it in hopes that it may inspire someone else to change.