FSS #1: Members threatening to leave your forum

[Cedric]

FSS #1: Members threatening to leave your forum

Welcome to the first scenario posted in our Forum Scenario Series. Please remember: respect everyone's opinion. Debate with other fellow members how you would handle this situations without causing collateral damage and bringing the situation to its best result.

Scenario:
You have a very active community and a member on your community has been on your forum for a very long time. In fact, it's probably your best engaging member, bringing you lots of new content, discussions and is a real valuable asset to your forum. If you want to keep your member, you'll need to satisfy him/her. Unfortunately some drama happened on your forum and your member got in an argument with a different member who is also a great member, but maybe not on the same level as the member threatening to leave the forum. Both have done nothing wrong in your eyes and abide the terms of service / rules you conduct. You believe that the member threatening to leave will be a real downfall to your community, as many look up to the member and maybe some will leave as well, but you don't want to upset the other member.

How would you react to both members, trying to compromise and having them both proceed as part of the community, knowing one won't stay if the other stays?

 

[Arantor]

😏Well no, not at all actually. Indeed i thusly ask of you kindly to explain exactly what you're meaning in plainly overt language please.

Furthermore may i ask what is motivating your recent rather comical attempts at gaslighting.

No attempt at gaslighting.

Two peeps on a forum have an argument. This is *normal*. People do this all the time.

The threat is simply 'do something about *them* or *I'm* leaving' because that's the only leverage most forum members ever have. It's the same exact stuff you see in the playground - just in a digital form. And it's something any group of humans of any size has a tendency to do.

Consider the meme of 'Karen'. Same thing, just polarised down a specific axis.

I was simply surprised and pointed it out with sarcasm that you'd apparently never encountered a group of people doing what people do, cheap powerplays to 1-up each other.

As for not being fond of you, no, I'll be honest. I dislike the page of text that doesn't say a lot, and I dislike the fact that instead of debating a hypothetical situation on its own merits or flaws without getting into specifics, you feel the need to make weird assertions or ad-hominem attacks about the story itself rather than realising that as this is a forum about 'adminning a forum', I was trying to drum up conversation based on recent experience about challenges admins faced, thus ... going for the hypothetical and general scenario to start the discussion from.

But that doesn't necessitate gaslighting as a charge, another ad-hominem attack.

 

[André]

No attempt at gaslighting.

Oh,...really?

Two peeps on a forum have an argument. This is *normal*. People do this all the time.

Agreed, although i am unsure why you've asserted that as if to imply i had supposedly claimed otherwise.

🤭It appears to be yet another attempt at 'Gaslighting'.

The threat is simply 'do something about *them* or *I'm* leaving' because that's the only leverage most forum members ever have.

🤔Interesting,...how would you know if that is the actual case though?

Are we premising this on willy nilly "hypotheticals" again?

Perhaps i'm mistaken but i don't recall you being the OP author.

It's the same exact stuff you see in the playground - just in a digital form.

"Exact"?

Are forums typically populated with adolescent children?

And it's something any group of humans of any size has a tendency to do.

Agreed.

Consider the meme of 'Karen'. Same thing, just polarised down a specific axis.

i am uncertain as to your meaning. Could you elaborate please.

I was simply surprised and pointed it out with sarcasm that you'd apparently never encountered a group of people doing what people do, cheap powerplays to 1-up each other.

☝️😂This is blatant 'Gaslighting' again.

As for not being fond of you, no, I'll be honest.

Ok, that's perfectly fine, thank you for being honest.

I dislike the page of text that doesn't say a lot,

i'll overlook this latest malicious insinuation and instead respond to state that neither do i, except i don't take offense nor thereafter unwaveringly adopt a passive-aggressive hostility towards the author.

and I dislike the fact that instead of debating a hypothetical situation on its own merits or flaws without getting into specifics, you feel the need to make weird assertions or ad-hominem attacks about the story itself rather than realising that as this is a forum about 'adminning a forum', I was trying to drum up conversation based on recent experience about challenges admins faced, thus ... going for the hypothetical and general scenario to start the discussion from.

😄Omg, would you please quit with this ridiculous 'Gaslighting' mate.

But that doesn't necessitate gaslighting as a charge, another ad-hominem attack.

🤣Love the irony of this assertion.

 

[Shortie]

The ignore feature on forums is a great tool I feel and if something like this happened on my forum, I would contact both of them separately and let them know the feature was available and that could be used to they did not have to see one another posts or even if they were online or even be contacted by one another.

If the person threatening to leave still wanted to leave, I would let them go. It would be a shame to lose them but at the same time, they also had a choice to be able to ignore the person in question and if that wasn't good enough then obviously being an active member of the forum didn't mean that much to them.