How do you win friends?

[Debashis]

Yeah, finding people you can trust and that will always have your back is hard to find. I put very little trust in people, which is one of the main reasons I've never had many friends throughout my life.

Same. Even my friends circle is small and tight.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

It is difficult to find the real ones. Casual friends are easy to make.

This. I have tons of casual friends. 5 real ones, 3 of whom are very close ones. The other 2 i trust just because i’ve known them since childhood so i see them as good friends still but just not super close

 

[~ True Legend ~]

When you figure that out, tell me your secret. But in all honesty, I am not good at making friends at all and I have serious trust issues with people I haven't gotten to know really, really well. I've never been in a relationship and a big part of that to blame is my serious trust issues. Funnily enough, there is a book that is pretty popular titled, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" but I've never read it myself. I may have to give it a read someday.

I read that book. It helps not only with friendships, but also teaches good conflict resolution skills both with customers and with work colleagues. Having difficult conversations is such an important workplace skills. Before reading this, I’d struggle with the balance between passiveness and aggressiveness. The key is assertiveness.

 

[Cory]

Same. Even my friends circle is small and tight.

I have only one IRL friend and it seems like our friendship is slowly drifting apart.

I read that book. It helps not only with friendships, but also teaches good conflict resolution skills both with customers and with work colleagues. Having difficult conversations is such an important workplace skills. Before reading this, I’d struggle with the balance between passiveness and aggressiveness. The key is assertiveness.

Sounds like a definite read one day then.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

I have only one IRL friend and it seems like our friendship is slowly drifting apart.

What do you define as drifting apart though? You can be close and talk every few months. Just depends on how you both feel about the connection, really.

 

[Cory]

What do you define as drifting apart though?

He doesn't always reply to texts I send him and he just seems uninterested in being friends with me anymore based on my speculations. I know I'm a natural downer when it comes to friendships and relationships thinking anyone who would want to try and be my friend or build a relationship with me would just use and abuse me, but that's how I've always been when it comes to those types of things. Always been terrible with building bonds ever since I was put into public school from private school.

 

[Debashis]

I have only one IRL friend and it seems like our friendship is slowly drifting apart.


Sounds like a definite read one day then.

I feel that's what happens when adulthood hits hard. The load of responsibilities gradually repriorites everything.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

I feel that's what happens when adulthood hits hard. The load of responsibilities gradually repriorites everything.

Yeah it’s true. I don’t see it as drifting apart as long as you trust each other to be there for each other. Of course the friendship dynamic changes.

From my perspective i used to hang with certain friends more only because we had more time and not necessarily because we were closer. With real friendships, bonds remain.

 

[Cory]

I feel that's what happens when adulthood hits hard. The load of responsibilities gradually repriorites everything.

Yeah, sometimes people are too busy to maintain a balanced friendship life with stuff like work, building a family, having me-time, chores, etc.