How do you feel about yourself as a parent?

[Debashis]

A lot of our members here are parents which is why I thought this topic could be a good one to discuss on. So, as a parent, how do you feel about yourself? Do you think you are doing great or do you feel there's some scope for improvement? If you feel you are doing great as a parent, feel free to share what extra you are doing that others who don't feel so great, aren't doing.

 

[Husk]

So I'm not a parent and I've never really wanted to be one. As I grew older, I became less and less enamored by the idea. The idea of the entire process from conception to birth and then the child at the end just doesn't appeal to me. I've also told my husband I'd make a crappy parent because I'm hella impatient, something of a loner (I like my alone time), and I don't know. I was going to school to be a teacher, even got myself certified and everything but after having all that time (to become a teacher, part of the process involves going to schools and daycares and sitting in) with kids, I realized I really... don't care for most children.

I love my nephews and nieces but if I didn't get a break from them (I'll have them over a weekend occasionally), I think I'd go nuts.

Right now, I have two of them living with us (long personal story) and it's just reinforced the idea that being a parent isn't for me. Because of how they were raised, these two are the most disrespectful little brats I've ever dealt with and I absolutely loathe parenting them. They throw garbage directly on the ground, like my house is a dumpster. I have to constantly tell them to pick up their garbage and throw it away. I even tried to make it easier by placing lots of little bins around for them and they STILL do it. They have to be hounded to pick up their toys, turn down their computers/phones (because even though I have something on, they have to turn their stupid children's youtube crap way up, we must want to hear it too!).

I respect parents out there. I don't know how you people have the patience.

 

[guyyanthony]

i think i would make an amazing parent (Not being up myself) i just have had alot of prastise with my friends kids, as well as my neices and nehpews when they were babys and babysat them all the time and i think i handle it very well.

But i don't think anyone knows if they would be good, or bad parents until it actually happens as everyone seems to doubt themselves alot until the baby, or babys are actually in the world and in your arms and you think of everything differnetly from that point.

 

[Debashis]

So I'm not a parent and I've never really wanted to be one. As I grew older, I became less and less enamored by the idea. The idea of the entire process from conception to birth and then the child at the end just doesn't appeal to me. I've also told my husband I'd make a crappy parent because I'm hella impatient, something of a loner (I like my alone time), and I don't know. I was going to school to be a teacher, even got myself certified and everything but after having all that time (to become a teacher, part of the process involves going to schools and daycares and sitting in) with kids, I realized I really... don't care for most children.

I love my nephews and nieces but if I didn't get a break from them (I'll have them over a weekend occasionally), I think I'd go nuts.

Right now, I have two of them living with us (long personal story) and it's just reinforced the idea that being a parent isn't for me. Because of how they were raised, these two are the most disrespectful little brats I've ever dealt with and I absolutely loathe parenting them. They throw garbage directly on the ground, like my house is a dumpster. I have to constantly tell them to pick up their garbage and throw it away. I even tried to make it easier by placing lots of little bins around for them and they STILL do it. They have to be hounded to pick up their toys, turn down their computers/phones (because even though I have something on, they have to turn their stupid children's youtube crap way up, we must want to hear it too!).

I respect parents out there. I don't know how you people have the patience.

I don't know if a lot of people have told you this but it's okay to not want to be a parent and to recognize your own limitations. It's true that parenting requires patience, lots of patience and it's not for everyone. So, It's always important to prioritize your own well-being and make choices that align with your preferences and values.

For the two kids who are staying with you, maybe you should try different ways to make them understand. Maybe be clear about your expectations from them and set some consequences like if they don't do so and so they won't get their phones or won't be allowed to watch/do something. Just try to stay calm and handle the situation.

 

[Cory]

I don't think I could handle being a parent. I've been told by a few people they think I'd make a great parent, but I barely have the mental capacity to handle my own life sometimes. I couldn't imagine having children being my total responsibility and I wouldn't want to pass my bad genes on to them. For one, I feel like I'll forever remain single, so having kids is kind of out of the question anyway, and I can't put myself at a financial risk that would make my children suffer in some way. I feel like it would cause me lots of anxiety worrying about my children all the time too and anxiety is something I've had problems with throughout my life.

 

[Husk]

I don't know if a lot of people have told you this but it's okay to not want to be a parent and to recognize your own limitations. It's true that parenting requires patience, lots of patience and it's not for everyone. So, It's always important to prioritize your own well-being and make choices that align with your preferences and values.

For the two kids who are staying with you, maybe you should try different ways to make them understand. Maybe be clear about your expectations from them and set some consequences like if they don't do so and so they won't get their phones or won't be allowed to watch/do something. Just try to stay calm and handle the situation.

One of them is starting to get it. She's the older of the pair and she does her chores (even if she does have to be reminded) and has stopped leaving garbage everywhere. I had a talk with her about how leaving garbage on the floor could cause the cats to eat it and choke. She's very interested in animals and animal welfare so that seemed to open her eyes. The younger one is still getting on my nerves but you're right, it's best to stay calm around them. Their old home life was pretty volatile so it's important to change that. For the most part, my husband and I are pretty quiet, calm people so a lot of it has been an adjustment not just for us but for our cats, too.

 

[Dismal_Bliss]

I think I did well. Both of my children are smart and mature, kind and respectful, in several areas that really do count. Both kids could use a little refinement in certain areas still, but there is only so much you can do to shape them.

 

[prophet]

I just became a father 77 days ago and it's been incredible. I'd like to think so far I've been a great parent to my daughter but at the end of the day, there's only so much we can do. I just want to give my daughter the best possible life that I can provide for the time being, while also being as involved as possible. It's incredibly hard though, and it really isn't for everyone. My wife and I kept saying that we would try for one once we hit the age of 29 but we jumped the gun a couple years earlier because we thought it would be great once we actually were married. Like I said previously, it's incredibly hard but it's also the most rewarding thing I've ever felt. I have my own little snuggle buddy and she has the best combination of traits/looks that we could ask for.

 

[MrDawn]

I realized I really... don't care for most children.

I love my kids. I don't care for other people's kids. A lot of parents don't teach their kids morals or boundaries. A lot of kids behave like little savages and need to be taught a serious lesson in manners and respect.

 

[Jason]

I'm doing what I can to support my kid. However, I'm not ready to have him full or part-time. Anyway, though, as he gets older, it shouldn't be a problem, but one big problem is his attachment to his grandparents. He was pretty much raised by them. Well, my family had major problems during his first years.