Forum Bullies

[Shawn Gossman]

Have you ever had a forum member who was a bully to other members?

If so, how do you or how would you deal with this issue?

Bullies can easily turn a forum into a toxic environment. If you don't stop it quickly, it can ruin a community.

Have you ever experienced this? If so, tell us about it so that others can learn from your experience with forum bullies.

 

[Cedric]

I've seen it a couple of times, it can really ruin a community and there have been a few times where I couldn't be bothered to spend time on said community. As an admin you need to see it coming before any damage is done.

 

[Kris P. Bacon]

Bullies, or alternatively ‘cliques’ as it’s always more than one. They arise from poor moderation – no excuses. Eventually, it drives members away and so the only people posting are ‘the clique’ and the owner wants to keep them as they’re the ones left who are posting. If you look at political sites you’ll see that practically all have extreme moderation polices because they know what happens when they don’t. The first sign is that people start to get personal and ignore the topic. That's when you need to stop it.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

I've seen it a couple of times, it can really ruin a community and there have been a few times where I couldn't be bothered to spend time on said community. As an admin you need to see it coming before any damage is done.

I think you're right. You need to know it's coming before any damage is done. This is why forum owners and/or their team need to be more active on the forum than anyone else.

Bullies, or alternatively ‘cliques’ as it’s always more than one. They arise from poor moderation – no excuses. Eventually, it drives members away and so the only people posting are ‘the clique’ and the owner wants to keep them as they’re the ones left who are posting. If you look at political sites you’ll see that practically all have extreme moderation polices because they know what happens when they don’t. The first sign is that people start to get personal and ignore the topic. That's when you need to stop it.

I agree with that being poor moderation.

To be honest, I stay away from political and debate forums. They're usually nothing but trouble. That's not to say all of them are but many of them are poorly managed where toxicity happens really fast.

I'd never want to do that niche, haha.

 

[Kris P. Bacon]

I think you're right. You need to know it's coming before any damage is done. This is why forum owners and/or their team need to be more active on the forum than anyone else.


I agree with that being poor moderation.

To be honest, I stay away from political and debate forums. They're usually nothing but trouble. That's not to say all of them are but many of them are poorly managed where toxicity happens really fast.

I'd never want to do that niche, haha.

I like it because that’s my one of my interests, but I can’t cope with the low-level opinion that passes for knowledge so tend to get bored with them.

 

[Kris P. Bacon]

We live in an era where opinions now carry the same weight as facts. Everything is subjective, with no right or wrong, good or bad and populations live in bubbles of beliefs. We’ve created our own little worlds, millions of them, but I try to focus on reality which often sounds odd to a collectivized mentality that follows a herd instinct. It is what it is.

 

[Dilip]

Bullies think that they are always right. It is impossible to educate them.

 

[vortex]

I encountered a user who was a grating know-it-all when I was staff at the Invisionfree forums. No one really liked him, and almost everyone avoided or deferred to him on the IRC channel (remember that?!) when he came online.

He ended up leaving the community because we all wised up and ignored EVERY.SINGLE.POST he made.

Couldn't ban him because he never really broke the rules (being rude, etc),.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

I encountered a user who was a grating know-it-all when I was staff at the Invisionfree forums. No one really liked him, and almost everyone avoided or deferred to him on the IRC channel (remember that?!) when he came online.

He ended up leaving the community because we all wised up and ignored EVERY.SINGLE.POST he made.

Couldn't ban him because he never really broke the rules (being rude, etc),.

My first rules here is because of that.

1. Be hateful, discriminating, racist, a bigot, or display hateful/constant negative behavior in the community

The last part is for the people who are constantly negative about everything. I can't stand it and don't want it around me. Go be miserable somewhere else, LOL.

 

[vortex]

My first rules here is because of that.

The last part is for the people who are constantly negative about everything. I can't stand it and don't want it around me. Go be miserable somewhere else, LOL.

Exactly. If I am having a bad day, I will not come to a forum and take out my frustrations on other people. I just let it sit and stew while I process my emotions lmao.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

Exactly. If I am having a bad day, I will not come to a forum and take out my frustrations on other people. I just let it sit and stew while I process my emotions lmao.

Oh yeah. I would feel bad if I took my frustrations out on others.

 

[Kris P. Bacon]

I think negativity is sometimes a good thing. Let’s call it dissent instead. It’s what stops us from spending all our money on lottery tickets because we can prove someone, somewhere won a million last week. It stops the ‘everyone’s a winner’ mindset and helps bring us back to reality. A consensus stops new ideas and stifles debate.

 

[Elseb]

I wouldn't necessarily say a bully but definitely somebody who brought the rest down and forced their opinion on everybody else. I made a mistake and kept them on the forum for longer than i should have, ended up costing me a few members at the time though luckily they've come back since they were banned. I was lucky, lesson learnt.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

I think negativity is sometimes a good thing. Let’s call it dissent instead. It’s what stops us from spending all our money on lottery tickets because we can prove someone, somewhere won a million last week. It stops the ‘everyone’s a winner’ mindset and helps bring us back to reality. A consensus stops new ideas and stifles debate.

A little bit is fine but someone who is constantly negative about everything is simply annoying.

I mean, who wants to go through their whole life in such a negative mood?

Everyone can win if they try and work their butt off to win. But the majority expect to win without trying, of course, they usually fail.

 

[Kris P. Bacon]

A little bit is fine but someone who is constantly negative about everything is simply annoying.

I mean, who wants to go through their whole life in such a negative mood?

Everyone can win if they try and work their butt off to win. But the majority expect to win without trying, of course, they usually fail.

Hmm, I tend to disagree. Not all can be winners, and if trying hard was the key to success we’d all be millionaires. The ones who succeed had ideas (and luck of course), the ones who didn’t followed what everyone else did and ended up in the same boat. You could class that as a negative statement, but those that came up with ideas aren’t going to shout it out to the world. So, what’s left are the few who follow years old practices going around in circles and wonder why they fail.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

I don't really believe in luck.

I get what you're saying by all means.

I just blame the lack of everyone being millionaires on general laziness.

That's not to be taken in an insulting way.

People, certain types of people, will work for something until they get it. I have a friend who started a pressure-washing business. He invested everything into it.

After about 10 years of hard work, he's bought out all the competition, had brick and mortar stores in 4 different towns and makes over a million.... washing houses and sidewalks.

What helped him was during the winter, he did snow removal and put up Christmas lights.

He kept himself hustling all year long and turned his hustle into a big business in a very rural region in the Midwestern US which isn't easy.

That wasn't luck. That was busting your butt.

Most people are not going to commit that.

Younger people see people on TikTok becoming super stars over night. The problem is, not a lot of viral people are making that much money but these kids assume they are.

You know what they say about assuming.

I'm a local social media influencer. I make money but I worked and innovated to get there. It had nothing to do with luck because luck isn't real.

 

[Kris P. Bacon]

I don't really believe in luck.

I get what you're saying by all means.

I just blame the lack of everyone being millionaires on general laziness.

That's not to be taken in an insulting way.

People, certain types of people, will work for something until they get it. I have a friend who started a pressure-washing business. He invested everything into it.

After about 10 years of hard work, he's bought out all the competition, had brick and mortar stores in 4 different towns and makes over a million.... washing houses and sidewalks.

What helped him was during the winter, he did snow removal and put up Christmas lights.

He kept himself hustling all year long and turned his hustle into a big business in a very rural region in the Midwestern US which isn't easy.

That wasn't luck. That was busting your butt.

Most people are not going to commit that.

Younger people see people on TikTok becoming super stars over night. The problem is, not a lot of viral people are making that much money but these kids assume they are.

You know what they say about assuming.

I'm a local social media influencer. I make money but I worked and innovated to get there. It had nothing to do with luck because luck isn't real.

For every person that succeeds, a thousand fail. For every business that succeeds, a thousand go bankrupt. The idea of individualism is an indoctrinated American belief that people create their own destiny based on a hard work ethic. Those who work hard don’t necessarily become rich. Those who have ideas become rich.

Those sort of beliefs were popular in Europe a century ago. The reality is that the vast majority of people are one step away from disaster in the next stock market crash. How many lost their jobs and homes in the 2008 crash? A strong work ethic and individualism didn’t save them.

6 in 10 Americans don't have $500 in savings and the tens of millions are not all lazy people.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

Those who work hard don’t necessarily become rich. Those who have ideas become rich.

Definitely.

There has to be an idea + hard work.

As for everyone being lazy. I think "lazy" is a bad term. I don't mean lazy in a negative light. I mean a lot of people are content to do it the easy way.

More people are willing to waste money on attempting to get rich with a lotto ticket than to brainstorm the next big thing.

I think people can brainstorm the next big thing. If more people did it, I think this country (the world) would be better than it is now.

But it's easier to try to get rich the less strenuous way than to try to work for it.

 

[Kris P. Bacon]

Definitely.

There has to be an idea + hard work.

As for everyone being lazy. I think "lazy" is a bad term. I don't mean lazy in a negative light. I mean a lot of people are content to do it the easy way.

More people are willing to waste money on attempting to get rich with a lotto ticket than to brainstorm the next big thing.

I think people can brainstorm the next big thing. If more people did it, I think this country (the world) would be better than it is now.

But it's easier to try to get rich the less strenuous way than to try to work for it.

But you did say, “I just blame the lack of everyone being millionaires on general laziness.”

The idea that everyone can be successful is based on a myth. Now that the era of opportunities is fading thanks to the post-industrial era, it’s exposed the type of people who are fabulously successful and they’re not very pleasant types.

The same applies to forums. Just because people have a forum doesn’t automatically mean success no matter how much hard work goes into them. It’s a question of competition and numbers. Yet there remains this mindset that demands success. There has to be an idea? Yes, that’s what’s missing.