your family is more important than your job” – is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned in my leadership development. So important, in fact, that over the years it has been one of the more frequent statements that I have shared with others in conversations about job decisions, especially when they have come to me struggling over what the best decision is for their family. The lesson initially came home to me shortly after I had stepped into my first senior leadership role.
I had been working in an organization where I had been very effective, and had played an important role in helping to bring about valuable and significant change. It seemed that I had been able to have positive influence on the organization and on many people within and connected to the organization. Looking back, I can see that my ego was being fed, and I was becoming prideful in my perspective. In the development of my personal work ethic, I had been taught to work in such a way that I would become more important to the organization than the organization was to me, but in my pride, this grew into the sentiment that I was invaluable to the company. I began to believe that if I were to ever leave, the organization would suffer and would take a noticeable step backward.
And then it happened. I was given an opportunity to become the leader of another organization, one that was experiencing struggle and decline. Although I had anxiety about whether or not I was prepared or capable, and about the unknown of this new experience, I was also excited, and anticipating the chance to again be an agent of change. My family was very supportive and excited along with me, encouraged me in this opportunity, and embraced the prospect of this new experience. So, we loaded a moving truck, packed up our family, and moved a thousand miles away to a new home and a new life.
As I left the previous company, I secretly believed that my loss would hurt, and even had the arrogance to think that it would require two people to replace all that I was doing. I imagined in my mind that I would soon be hearing about how much they missed me, and how much they realized I had meant to them. But then, the unthinkable happened – they moved on without me! They hired someone else with his own set of skills and passion, they adjusted, and they continued to move forward. Meanwhile, I was struggling to win the support and trust of a skeptical group of people who had no idea what I had accomplished or what I could do.