User Engagement Would you hold a grudge against another forum user for 10 years?

[joelr]

Imagine someone in your forum blew up years ago. Maybe they had a bad attitude or caused some drama that got them banned. It felt justified at the time, but now it’s 10 years later. You’ve run into them in other forums over the years.

Would you still hold a grudge against them? Or could you move past what happened back then? Would you call them out on it, after 10 years?

People change. They grow, learn, and sometimes regret things they did online years ago. But grudges can linger, especially in tight-knit forums where every interaction leaves an impression (and especially in forum admin communities, where everyone knows everyone!). On the other hand, forums are about connection and giving people a place to belong. Isn’t part of that allowing room for forgiveness or second chances?

• Would you let someone like this back into your forum? Why or why not?
• How do you decide if someone has truly changed or is just pretending?
• Can holding onto a grudge hurt the community more than letting it go?

 

[Matt M]

I do not hold grudges personally, but you'd need to evaluate the impact of this person on the community, with perhaps a trial period. The tighter the community, the greater the upset possible.

 

[Ravenfreak]

I would get over it eventually, I don't like holding grudges. Plus people do change as they get older, 10 years is a long time and the member who caused issues once could have matured.